Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Turn Fear into Growing Pains

Fear.

It's so highly personal and intricate that we often don't know what's triggered it even in ourselves. We try to run. We try to hide. But sooner or later, it demands our attention. We are human and in order to participate in the life we've created with others, it's necessary to grow. It is necessary to step out of our comfort zone and let go of the fear or be left behind. Change or be changed. Address fear or fear will address you.

We all live in our own little bubbles of fear. Some more than others. The trick is to be aware that it exists and know what how it acts so when it bumps around in you, you'll know what it is. It's just fear. It's just your little childish ego inside telling you that there's something scary out there in the path ahead.

Fear makes us do crazy and insane things. If we don't deal with our fear, our fear can become anger. And that depth of fear makes us victims of ourselves. We start blaming others and our situtation. We feel out of control. We're liable to do anything to avoid that fear and satisfy the anger. If you're like me, luckily you just try to tidy it up and organize the crap out of fear. (Don't even THINK about leaving those socks there!) But if I continue to avoid dealing with my fears, there's no telling what I'll do over time. I may drop everything and move across the country (been there) I may end a relationship (done that) or force myself into such a tizzy that I end up being terminated from work. (Yup, that was me too.) Fear may feel like a storm but NOT dealing with fear creates a sh*t storm.

So some fear is ok. In fact, it's vital to our survival. It draws a line for us between what's safe and not safe. It's hugely valuable. But also not rational. Fear holds us back from participating in the life we've hoped and dreamed of.

So the next time you feel fear. Pause. Ask yourself, "is this holding me back from participating in my life?" If yes, then scrape together some compassion for yourself, reach out for another's hand and move forward anyways. Better to weather the storm now before it becomes a... yup, you got it.

Turn fear into growing pains.  And now I have a headache.

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