Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Life Skill: Know How to Order What You Want from the Life Menu

I believe in making my own choices.
Choice = freedom

When we let other people make decisions for us we give up responsibility. If we give up being "able to respond" we leave ourselves in a position not to act, but to blame, complain or criticize if things don't go in our favour. But the choice was always there. We simply chose not to respond but to let someone else respond for us.

Of course there are always things in life that we did not choose. Unexpected things that weren't listed on the menu. I didn't choose this boss who just transferred into my department, I didn't choose to get laid off work, I didn't choose to get into that fender bender. All true. In these cases, it's how you choose to respond that makes the difference. 

"Waiter, this wasn't what I ordered! ...was it?!"

 This is actually a pepper fly, a fly made of pepper to season your soup!
A funny idea made by Taiwanese designers balance wu and chin yang in 2009.
See more pics at Design Boom's page.

Then there are also situations where we are not the sole choice maker. Let's say we have a lovely significant other who we want to share our life with. Or maybe we are part of a really great team at work that we want to keep working with. Maybe we are planning a family reunion this summer and there are lots of cooks in that kitchen...

How in the world do we make sure everyone gets some choice? How do we ensure that everyone's needs are met? How do we ensure that one person doesn't make all the choices for everyone else? (I mean seriously, a family reunion...?! If your family is anything like the families I know well, SOMEbody is sure to get their panties in a knot about SOMEthing!)

Well folks, it's all about negotiating boundaries and working together to find a middle ground while respecting other people's boundaries. (Yep, again.)

(Well that SOUNDS fine, but you don't know my Aunt Marg...!)

Yep, it's a tall order folks! This means I better understand what my needs are (for the event AND for working together to plan the event), I better be clear about these preferences when I'm talking to you and I better know what I'm willing to compromise on.

I'd like a soy, no foam, extra-pump, medium hot, grande chai tea latte... What would you like?

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